I fell out of love for someone whom I thought I would end up marrying, a few months ago. Well, the relationship was already rocky for quite sometime already. I just didn't have the courage to end it much earlier and neither did he. But, you just knew something wasn't right when you start to push yourself to understand the other person, where as, you forgot to understand your own self...about what you really want and how you want the person to understand you.
Telling you endlessly to have patience and...wait.
Yeah...I waited alright. But, when there's no more effort / plan to be with / see you a.k.a commitment a.k.a I want to focus on my work right now, don't you think it's time to leave? And not only that... I didn't feel any love anymore but only sadness.
I respect those who could be in a relationship (not marriage) for a long time, and still end up marrying and live happily ever after. But, I didn't think I could stay any longer (plus it's a long distant relationship).
And so, I fell out of love and I was the one who got the courage to actually end the relationship. It was tough, going through it on your own...not telling anyone, but thanks to family, workload, and friends...I survived. For the first few weeks, I thought I made a wrong decision, looking for signs for me to go back to him but, I didn't see any and nothing showed me that I made a wrong decision. Instead, I felt so much relieve that I don't have to think about him.
I didn't want to tell anyone, but, what the heck...let bygones be bygones.
Then, now...a few months later...not a few...just recently...am no more single...
Never thought I would fall for this guy. But, yeah..I did and still am. How long this thing will last? Not sure....I fell out, and there may be possibility to fall out again, too. But, I will not let it happen again because of the obstacles I went through to be with this one (and more to come).
As long as I know what I want and I am happy (veeeerrrrrrryyyyyyyy)....then, who knows? We plan, but God will be the one who decides everything.
Bak kata cerita Melayu, "Kalau dah jodoh, takkan ke mana2..." Tapi, mun sikda effort nak cari, or plan mok kawen, jodoh ya sampei bila-bila lah jadi jodoh ajak.
Wish me luck! :)
7 comments:
good luck my dear! I got the hint abt the other one in ur previous post, but did not dare to comment.
anyway, it has passed and we are happy for you for the new love, and hope and pray that things will go your way.
Eheemm... ehemm.. oit, polah report agik.. who is the new love babe?
hahahh..i was reading and thinking at the first place..no wonder she cried about the movie that day..and then telling myself..so sad lar..jst thinking of dropping a few lines for encouragements, then ur blog change back to the happy mode..hahaha..wish you all the best ya :-) actually it is not bad to fall out from love, believe me, u will be more mature..kekek..( did i mean, u were chidish when u r in love ?? hahhaha )
Julina : Thanks, dear. Really hope for the best to happen in this relationship. Pray for me, yah!
Mim : Hehehe..sikpat nak madah sitok, tapi mesti kitak dapat tauk kelak2 juak. Sik jauh nya ya..dekat jak. Sekangkang kera jak. You wouldn't even expected it. Not even did I. :P
Aya...Susie...you seem to know many things. :P Aye, that was a movie lah. This one is real one, ok? No movie involved. Ok, I am now more mature, have to agree on that AND, I was never childish in love ok?hahaha..If I was, I would've ended it LOooooong time ago. Funny la you....hehehe...thanks for dropping by :)
so happy for you.. :D although i wish it was the same for me.. but i'm sure, God has plans for each of us, at its own time and pace. as for now, i need to do the interface design before you kill me once you're back from Long Lamai.. ;)
Hi Jen! Thanks a lot :). It's true what you said. Things happen for a reason and I'm taking good care of this moment of my life because I feel I really deserve this. It will happen to you anytime, too...and may happen when you didn't even expect it to happen. In the meantime, hehehe..must do our research. I'm trying to juggle work and love,phew...hard lah. :)
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