Haven't been able to blog for a while...been busy..and having a mental block over some work.
Have you ever been in a situation that you always think about unnecessary stuff in which resulted you cause someone or people to get so worried?
Have you ever been so insecure about your life that you wished that your friends or family would never go away?
Have you ever wished that your life is like a fairy tale and everything else is so easy to do?
Have you ever wished that people would just understand that you want to have a break?
Have you ever pushed someone to their limits over something?
Have you ever wished people would stop asking you when are you going to settle down?
I have...for most of the questions...I have. I have never felt so down like this in my life at this moment. I just wished that people would be able to understand what I want and what I don't want in my life. I may look happy, because I'm good at hiding that with my wide smile. Only God knows how low my level of happiness right now, which reminds me I haven't been to church for quite sometime.
Why is it sometimes you just can't get what you want?You worked your a** out...you waited...you've gone through the same thing..but then, you are still stuck where you are. Then, you see others so easily get what they want without much effort.
As someone who is extra emotional, thanks to PMS, you need some love.When you need some, people say you're too demanding. I don't need money..I can afford an LV..so money is not a problem for me..I just need some love. Susah ka?
I don't want to let people down..especially the ones I love.Sometimes I hurt them unintentionally with my words. Sometimes, I speak without thinking (ada ka?). But I speak the truth and sometimes, truth does hurt and I wished to take back all those things that had been said because I let them feel bad.
I just hope people would stop asking me when I will settle down especially during weddings. Seriously, I don't know. Not that I don't care..I just don't know. I love the person that I am with wholeheartedly right now and I do wish that he would propose to me one day. But, I don't know when he's going to do that. I do want to get married and settle down and have 4 kids. Have I discussed about this? yes..am I pushing him? With all the pressure around me, yes. Am I pushing him to the limits? I think I am and I may be pushing MY own self to the limits by all this pressure. There you go..I think too much. So help me not think by stop asking me when I will get married. That's a research question that can't be solved by anyone, even those nobel prize winners. There's no methodology that can be applied to help to solve the question. So yeah...stop asking. I don't want to lose him.
I try to please people in every way that I can..do my job as good as I manage to..be a good listener..be a good friend...be a good daughter...etc...etc...etc...But it seems everything is just plain not enough for some. Some people want more from me and sometimes the things they want is something that I can't do, but I just can't say no cause I'm scared that I would hurt their feelings...or I show that I can't perform well.
I want to have a break, but I still have some work to do. A Merry Xmas indeed for me.
7 comments:
Yo sarah! just ignore all the pressures.. go with the flow.. mun dipaksa2, lain jadiknya kelak.. chillax babe!
Thanks mim...tgh PMS kali..pressure gik.
i can understand how u feel. dont worry too much girl, most of us have gone thru the same thing. being away for most of the time does help me to stay away from the pressures. try go with the flow instead of against it, hv a laugh. take time to travel around and see people and place..do things that u can still do while ur not tied down. enjoy your freedom while u still can.
btw, if he is the one, you'll know it deep down all along, so don't stress over it too much. just take good care of him :)
go find a book "being happy" written by andrew matthews, i hope it will helps u a bit
if he is the one, he will be the one..if he is not, no matter how much you push, or you dun even push at all or nothing bad happened between you two, he wont be the one..just let your faith decides what is going to happen :-) hey gal, you are still so young..why started to show your aging process so fast ? :-p
Thanks all. I needed a break just a week, but I still have work to complete. My family is busy preparing for Xmas and going Xmas shopping, while I was stuck at home doing work. Next week, semester starts again and I havent prepared my lessons yet!
Post a Comment