I've been searching in the Internet about what will we become after we die?Do we actually go to heaven as an award for eternal happiness, or hell as an eternal damnation? or, we end our life just like that. Like a robot that just ran out of energy..as materialists would say.
Some articles mentioned that we will become spirits and we will then live in the spirit world. The world is called astral world.
Whatever will we become of where ever we will go, I really hope that Aba Jang is in a place where he will feel no pain. Almost every night, I would wonder where he has gone to. Is he here in my room?Watching over me and my families?
Yesterday night, I was at Maria's house. I dropped by to pick up money from her. I chatted with Maria and Mak Yi about Aba Jang. I asked her lots of questions about how he got his illness. I wanted to know about it as I couldn't remember much of him when I was a kid. All I could remember was the two trips of visit to his place in Miri. I enjoyed the first trip because Aba Jang lived in a very unique, wooden house. It was on stilts and near to a beach. The beach was dirty though. But, we were so naive at that time, we played the whole day at the beach. I remembered mom and Mak Yi was so mad at me, my cousins and sisters for getting dirty when we got to Aba Jang's house. We were full of dirt! not only that, we were covered with some kind of sticky liquid which I guessed was black oil. Well, it should be, we were in Miri, anyway.
The second trip wasn't as good as the first because Aba Jang moved to another place in Miri and he was sharing with his two friends. He was already thin that time due to his illness and he was already hook up to the dialysis machine. I was sure that he didn't take care of himself because his house was such a mess. My sis and I wanted to play scrabble, but, tak jadi, coz, there were ants in the scrabble set!
Then, he had to leave his job. I am not sure due to what, but what I know is that he had to leave Miri and move back to Kuching. From what Mak Yi told me, he had to leave because he could not perform anymore at work. Mak Yi got a call from his former boss about his condition. Knowing Aba Jang, he will never let anyone know of his trouble. I remembered Mom, Dad, Aba Nick, Mak Yi drove all the way to Miri to help him pack. He was thinner than ever, and looked old for his age. He was almost 40.. We welcomed him with open arms, but, he was frustrated. He had to move away from his friends in Miri, leave his care free life, and most of all, leave the big biker's club. He was young, yet, he had to leave to live with the machine.
Mak Yi told me yesterday, Aba Jang once, asked Mak Ya, " What have I done to deserve this?" I almost shed a tear when I heard this. It made me realised one thing... how lucky I am compared to him, and yet, I keep on complaining about being fat, not being sporty enuff, not married yet and not having enough money. Til this very moment, that sentence still lingers in my head. I can be thin in just a matter of months, if I want to...I can be sporty if I have to..I can have all the money in the world if I work hard for it...I can be married to anyone if I'm crazy enough to do it now..BUT, how I wished that I can give back my dear uncle's life.
What have I done to deserve this?
I do believe in God, and I do believe in his plans for his children. I hope his plan for Aba Jang is a beautiful one.
Some articles mentioned that we will become spirits and we will then live in the spirit world. The world is called astral world.
Whatever will we become of where ever we will go, I really hope that Aba Jang is in a place where he will feel no pain. Almost every night, I would wonder where he has gone to. Is he here in my room?Watching over me and my families?
Yesterday night, I was at Maria's house. I dropped by to pick up money from her. I chatted with Maria and Mak Yi about Aba Jang. I asked her lots of questions about how he got his illness. I wanted to know about it as I couldn't remember much of him when I was a kid. All I could remember was the two trips of visit to his place in Miri. I enjoyed the first trip because Aba Jang lived in a very unique, wooden house. It was on stilts and near to a beach. The beach was dirty though. But, we were so naive at that time, we played the whole day at the beach. I remembered mom and Mak Yi was so mad at me, my cousins and sisters for getting dirty when we got to Aba Jang's house. We were full of dirt! not only that, we were covered with some kind of sticky liquid which I guessed was black oil. Well, it should be, we were in Miri, anyway.
The second trip wasn't as good as the first because Aba Jang moved to another place in Miri and he was sharing with his two friends. He was already thin that time due to his illness and he was already hook up to the dialysis machine. I was sure that he didn't take care of himself because his house was such a mess. My sis and I wanted to play scrabble, but, tak jadi, coz, there were ants in the scrabble set!
Then, he had to leave his job. I am not sure due to what, but what I know is that he had to leave Miri and move back to Kuching. From what Mak Yi told me, he had to leave because he could not perform anymore at work. Mak Yi got a call from his former boss about his condition. Knowing Aba Jang, he will never let anyone know of his trouble. I remembered Mom, Dad, Aba Nick, Mak Yi drove all the way to Miri to help him pack. He was thinner than ever, and looked old for his age. He was almost 40.. We welcomed him with open arms, but, he was frustrated. He had to move away from his friends in Miri, leave his care free life, and most of all, leave the big biker's club. He was young, yet, he had to leave to live with the machine.
Mak Yi told me yesterday, Aba Jang once, asked Mak Ya, " What have I done to deserve this?" I almost shed a tear when I heard this. It made me realised one thing... how lucky I am compared to him, and yet, I keep on complaining about being fat, not being sporty enuff, not married yet and not having enough money. Til this very moment, that sentence still lingers in my head. I can be thin in just a matter of months, if I want to...I can be sporty if I have to..I can have all the money in the world if I work hard for it...I can be married to anyone if I'm crazy enough to do it now..BUT, how I wished that I can give back my dear uncle's life.
What have I done to deserve this?
I do believe in God, and I do believe in his plans for his children. I hope his plan for Aba Jang is a beautiful one.
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